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Today I’m doing a hard thing and sharing my story with you. Why? Because my story is just as much about you as it is about me and ultimately it’s about God. I don’t own it at all.
And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony – Revelation 12:11
If you don’t know Jesus yet, I pray that your heart would be open. If He can reach me, He can reach anyone. I sincerely hope my story will connect with you in some way. If you already know Jesus personally, I pray you will praise Him for what He has done in yet one more life. He deserves every bit of that praise!
I also want you to have a little insight into why I write at Proverbial Homemaker. They say God doesn’t call the equipped, but that He equips the called. That’s the truth! There was nothing about me before that would have hinted at who I am now. I am a domestically challenged and inherently skeptical woman. That hasn’t changed. Yet, here I am today completely sold out on Jesus and serving Him by His grace in my home.
This story is the beginning of my passion for Jesus, my love for His Word, my devotion to His people, and the unexpected call to wife, mom, and homemaker. More than anything, I want to be faithful to Him. This blog is an expression of that desire with the hope that it might encourage someone else on their own journey.
A Dark and Wandering Path
I did not come to faith in Jesus early in my life, nor did I come to it easily. My biggest roadblocks to accepting Jesus were intellectual ones. I wanted to believe, but couldn’t. I didn’t want to “check my brains at the door” and just believe what others told me to. At least, that’s how I viewed the issue. So many years later, I know the deeper heart issues that were involved all along.
Like many young people do, I spent my high school and college days desperately looking for value and identity in all the wrong places. My life became a horrible cycle of searching for fulfillment in friends and relationships. When I didn’t find it there, I felt trapped. I ended up trying to escape with reckless behavior and destructive habits, numbing out any way I could. It was a dark and wandering path.
A Four-Year Decision
At some point, I connected with a Christian church (through avenues that could only have been orchestrated by God). Those people struggled with and alongside me for four long years. They battled with me in debate and loved me in spite of my choices. They, along with my loving family, stood by me as I struggled my way out of substance abuse. They told me hard truths and were a major instrument of God’s purposes for me.
One day, about 17 years ago now, I finally came before God spent and exhausted. I knew that my life wasn’t working the way it should and I couldn’t find answers that completely satisfied all my hard questions. I was sober, I was successful by worldy standards, but I was still empty and searching.
There was nothing left but Jesus. How ironic. After searching for so long, I found that nothing filled that empty space in me. We all have it, even if we don’t realize it or won’t admit it. That day, I finally humbled myself before Him and asked in my awkward way that He show me who He really was. I prayed that He’d save me from the empty place. It was a rather quiet conversation.
Then Everything Changed
God was listening, friends. He was leaning in and waiting with bated breath as I finally opened the door to His grace and mercy.
If you haven’t fully accepted Jesus in your life, know that He is intimately aware of every thought and feeling and question you have. He loves you madly and wants you to come to Him just as you are. He is listening.
That first conversation was not dramatic, but the change that came after I was baptized sure was! I stood before God and my friends and work colleagues, telling my story and confessing faith in Christ as Messiah, and then was baptized. In the weeks that followed, the first thing I noticed was that I could suddenly somehow understand the scriptures, which had always seemed like gibberish before. Not only that, they were moving and shaping me.
Jesus and the things of God became my own, and I became His. My life and choices did a complete 180, He granted complete restoration and healing from addiction, and He placed in me a great desire to follow Him with everything I am. What an unexpected, blessed, and holy experience that time was. I am brought to tears even now just recalling it. Since then, He has shown Himself over and over again as Lord, Savior, and the ultimate Truth in my life.
A year later, I married my amazingly wonderful husband, Aaron. Since then we have been blessed with six children. We see our primary mission in this season of life as raising our kids to know and love God. It is vital that they see us walk a genuine walk, loving God above all, loving our neighbors and church family even (especially) when it’s messy, and honoring God’s Word.
We’re not perfect. I am so far, far from it. To be honest, there are still consequences that linger from my past choices. However, I am no longer under their power. God can take those ugly places and turn them into something beautiful for His glory. He can and will redeem the years that we have wasted.
I see this every day when I kneel down to ask my children for forgiveness when I mess up. I see it when God takes what little I have to offer and multiplies it. I see it every time He transforms someone’s life and makes them whole again, in Him.
What About You?
Are there dark places in your life that need the light of God? Are there fears, questions, or obstacles you face? God has it covered, I promise, and He is waiting with bated breath for you to come to Him.
We were created for the glory of God – to live for his glory – but we have all sinned and fallen short. The wages of sin is death, separating us from God and fellowship with him. But because of his great love for us, he sent his son Jesus Christ to provide the only way out. Jesus lived, died, and was raised to life so that we may be forgiven of our sins and reconciled to God through Christ! Eternal life is a free gift for all who trust in Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
“By grace are you saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God—not of works, lest any man should boast” (Ephesians 2:8).
I am no pastor and I am no counselor. I’m just some lady who loves God and does the best she can. However, I’d be honored to hear your story and pray for you, that you’d come to know Jesus more and more. Feel free to email me at tauna (at) proverbialhomemaker (dot) com.