Letting Go of the Perfect Mom

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So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

~Isaiah 41:10

Like most women, I struggle in frustration with the unreachable ideals I set before me. I have an idea of what the perfect “me” would be – the perfect wife and mom. She is somewhat cobbled together from women I’ve known, ones I’ve read about, ones on TV or imagined. I set myself up against someone that doesn’t exist. 

But God has created me with certain strengths and weaknesses and a certain personality. And I fit perfectly with the things He has called me to. That is the reality. The challenge is living in it. 

What kinds of things cause me fear, anxiety or worry?

  • Failing as a mom and wife
  • Kids will suffer because of my weaknesses
  • Kids will turn away from me
  • Kids will turn away from God
  • Not doing enough
  • Not being enough

“I need to remember that ‘good’ motherliness has nothing to do with how God sees me. Nothing. I am pleasing to Him on my good days and my bad days” ~ Sarah Mae

What ideals have I created that I need to let go of?

  • Being a perfect mom and wife
  • Always looking good
  • Always being cheerful
  • Always having a clean house
  • Always having an organized space
  • Always knowing what I’m doing
  • Always having a good day

“To hear from God we must become women of the Word and women who pray, so that HIs voice may lead us as we grow into this role with grace.” ~ Sally Clarkson

What kinds of ideals are God-given, that I can pursue with His help? 
  • Being kind and gentle to my kids
  • Being full of grace for myself and my family
  • Growing in knowledge
  • Always pointing to Jesus
  • Being a woman of prayer and of the Word
  • Clinging to God in the good times and bad
  • Creating a safe and life-giving home
  • My kids knowing that they’re loved and cherished
  • My husband knowing that he is respected and deeply loved
  • Having a Christ-centered family
  • Valuing genuine, authentic relationship with each other and God

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
~ Jesus (Matthew 11:28)

Lord Jesus, help me! Guide me in wisdom and give me discernment to see which goals and desires are from you and which ones are not. Calm my heart and help me to remember that I am just the right mom for these kids. 

In Your name,

Do YOU have any ideals that you need to let go of?

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. I love this post, particularly the opening line:

    “Like most women, I struggle in frustration with the unreachable ideals I set before me.”

    Because it’s the ideals that “I set before ME” that I have to remember.No one else expects me to be perfect: not my husband, not the kids, not even God. I have that unrealistic aim and it is harmful to everyone.

    Your post resonates with me today because I too am a perfectionist and want more than anything to do a good job with my kids. Praying for you and me both today, that we will remember God gave us these kids for a reason and He will carry us through!


  2. Angela M. Russell

    I need to quit beating myself up for not being a mutant cross between betty crocker, june clever and martha stewart and start with the fundamental principal that God wants me to be a good steward of the people and things He put into my life. Being a good steward sometimes means not scrubbing the toilet because your 1 year old is teething and needs extra comfort. Sometimes it means even though I’m tired and cranky, I need to prepare a meal for my family. And sometimes it means that I ask my husband to look after the kids so I can take a long shower and shave my legs so I feel pretty for date night. Being a good stweard doesn’t imply perfection, it implies prayerfully making sure God’s priorities are reflected in my to do list and in my I’ll have to do it later list.

  3. I just did a very similar post yesterday. But mine was more focused on balance or the lack thereof. I really enjoyed reading this and can totally relate 🙂

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