Connecting With Moms

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This is for my friend Angie – totally looks like one of our get-togethers, right? 😉

“None of us are made to deal with life alone.” ~ Sally Clarkson

In the book Desperate, Sally Clarkson talks about connecting with younger moms, peer moms, and older moms. 

If you are a mom, which one of these is an area where you need to connect? 

Older Moms. 

  • Not neccesarily older in years (although they usually are), but wiser and more experienced
  • They can lend a “been there, done that” perspective
  • They are not perfect, and yet you want to be more like them because you see Jesus in them
  • You admire their walk with Jesus, their marriage, their parenting, etc. 
  • They have much to teach you and yet they are “real” with their struggles
  • They are willing and available

Like Sarah Mae says in chapter 2 of Desperate, pray for God to lead you to a woman like this! Ask her to come over sometime to chat when the kids are sleeping. 

You don’t have to ask her to be a life-long mentor and meet once a week. Just ask her if she’s ok with you calling on her to chat or get together every once in a while! 

My experience: I am praying for more women like this because I am needy that way. (I’m thinking that’s how it should be.) 

But I do already have one precious woman who has agreed to be a mentor to me. She pours into me – wisdom, calmness, affirmation, and encouragement. She is a straight shooter and doesn’t pat me on the head. She has greatly inspired me in my marriage, my walk with God, and my service in the church. 

Peer Moms.

  • Have the same ideals and goals for children and family as you do
  • Are in the same life stage with similar ages of kids
  • Have more in common with you than not
  • Have the potential for mutual encouragement, prayer support, parental troubleshooting, etc.

Pray for God’s guidance and write down a list of women that it might be good to connect with. Then write down one way you can reach out to them in the next month. 

My experience: I have been blessed with some amazing friendships with other moms that are of the same mind and situation as I am. These friendships did NOT just happen. They were intentional and they took a certain amount of work to become established. But they are gold. 

How did I find these women? I asked them to lunch, coffee, or a playdate. I asked questions, listened, and looked for common ground. If I thought we could be good friends, I didn’t wait for them to call me up. I just initiated another meeting. 

I’ve had several flops, but in the past 5 years I have found 5 women that are my dearest friends.

This is worth the effort. I’m not an extrovert. I just know how very important this is. So I suck it up and risk it in spite of my insecurity because, most likely, the other woman is insecure in some ways too. 

Younger Moms.

  • Not necessarily younger than you in years, but younger in experience. This could mean you have older kids, or that you have more experience in a particular area that might help them, such as homeschooling, being a SAHM, biblical discipline, homemaking, etc. 
  • You can offer at least a little wisdom and perspective on where they are now, because you’ve been there
  • They often crave community and connection but have very little of it
  • They don’t want to be a burden

You may not have thought about it before, but you could be an “older mom” kind of mentor to someone even if you’re still a young family! 

If God is leading you in this direction, pray for the right timing and the right women to reach out to. It could look like a simple friendship instead of a mentorship. 

My experience: I have never thought of myself as experienced enough to offer any kind of mentorship to another mom. But as a friend recently pointed out to me, sometimes God calls us to do what we feel we are unqualified for. 

Lately I’ve been presented with such an opportunity with a new mom and I am excited, humbled, and a little worried. 🙂 But really, all I need to do is make myself available to whatever God has planned and reach out in kindness and encouragement to this sweet lady. 

How is God leading you to connect with other moms? 

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