Dear Mom Who Just Lost Her Temper

Encouragement for the Mom Struggling With Irritability and Anger

Dear Mom Who Just Lost Her Temper,

I know. 

I know you’re feeling guilty over losing your temper with your kids. You didn’t want to. It just seems to… happen. In spite of your best efforts you can’t seem to “fix” the part of you that becomes irritable and reacts so harshly. 

I know you are conflicted sometimes about how to talk to your kids about their behavior when yours falls so short, so often. You hear them repeating your words and your tone and you cringe. 

I know you sometimes think about other moms who seem so kind, so level, so… not angry. They seem to handle every frustration and inconvenience with textbook serenity. Then there’s you. Why can’t you just be more like them? “God, why can’t I just be more like them? Why is this so hard? Help me!”  

I know you are so often disappointed with the gap between what you want your day to be like and how it actually ends up. You secretly measure your success by whether you yelled that day. You secretly label yourself a “bad mom.” Sometimes you even wonder if there is any hope of change, or what God was thinking when He made you a mom of these precious souls. 

I know you love Jesus.
I know you love your kids. 
I know you want to be a gentle, joyful mom.

Do you know how I know all this? Because I just lost my temper with my kids. All these thoughts and fears and hopes and prayers are my own.

Although I have not yet overcome this struggle, I am living in a place of hope and encouragement. More than anything right now, I want to share that hope and encouragement with YOU

I know a lot of things, right? Yes, I realize I don’t really know everything about your hopes and fears, or your struggles and sins, or what your circumstances are right now. However, there are some things I know for sure because they are not dependent upon you and I. They are truths that come from God. 

I know… 

  • We should feel sad over our sin, yet we are not forsaken nor condemned.
  • We all fall short, yet He is not finished working on us.
  • We will sometimes stumble, but pointing them to Jesus is what matters most.
  • We are not the perfect mom, but in His perfect will God made us “Mom” to these children
  • We can’t succeed on our own efforts, yet we can do all things through Christ. 

The truth is, I still struggle with irritability with my kids. I still believe it is important to learn and grow in that area, for my kids’ sakes and for my own. However, I have grown to deeply appreciate something even more important than whether I am a gentle, joyful mom.

Here it is. Learn this. Ponder it in your heart.
Make this the secret you tell yourself whenever things get hard. 

Your job isn’t to be a perfect parent. Your job is to point yourself and your children to the perfect Savior.

Don’t strive to hide your struggles and your sin. Instead, strive to parent from a seat of humility, showing your kids what it is to confess, repent, and live anchored in Christ.

Show them what it means to really live for God, allowing them to witness the work that He is doing in you.

If you demonstrate the power of the gospel in your parenting, you have succeeded. 

To Him be all the glory.

Find practical tools and encouragement for overcoming anger in your parenting with No More Angry Mom!

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