The Biggest Homeschool Obstacle

What’s the biggest obstacle in homeschooling?

It’s you, homeschool mama!

Nothing derails a homeschool like unrealistic expectations of yourself and of your kids.

Think about this:

You spend time searching Pinterest for new printables or ideas to enhance your next history lesson. You stumble across another mom’s homeschool room or a blog post that gives a glimpse into another homeschooler’s day. Then you are filled with envy that quickly makes you feel discouraged about your own homeschool.

Or you talk to a homeschool friend who has children that are slightly older. She tells you about how much extra time she has because her children are working independently and are taking some online classes. You go home determined to teach your young children how to work independently and soon realize that your efforts are futile because your kids aren’t ready to work independently. You then feel like a failure as a home educator. 

Maybe you’re just starting your homeschool journey and you have grand ideas of a beautiful homeschool day. Your children will be eager learners, will always get along, and will never complain. You will wake up each morning excited to spend the entire day with them and you will make each learning experience memorable. After a few weeks you crash back to earth, realizing that even homeschooled siblings argue, complain about doing school time, and some days you are exhausted and are not at all excited about the prospect of homeschooling. 

Disclosure: *This post may include affiliate links. As an affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Read the disclosures and terms for more information.

I think we’ve all been there – we’ve envied another homeschool mom for her poise, her calm, her creativity. We’ve become discouraged when we’ve compared our children to other children who seem more accomplished or more well-rounded than our own. We’ve started our year with grand plans to have a rigorous academic year and to push our children toward independent learning only to find that our children are confused, frustrated, and unable to keep up.

We all suffer from unrealistic expectations that we put upon ourselves after reading a book, a blog, an article, or even just talking with another homeschool mom.
Unrealistic expectations can be challenging to spot because our world of social media puts the seeming perfection of others right in front of us on a daily basis. We unconsciously compare ourselves and set impossible standards for our homeschool.

When we do this everyone suffers. Our children can become discouraged and stressed under the pressure to perform and we can feel like failures in our homeschool efforts.

Unrealistic expectations set our homeschool up for failure.

So, how can you combat these unrealistic expectations?

• First, put your expectations in writing. This helps for two reasons:

1) Seeing your expectations written down helps you to see if you’re being completely unreasonable AND
2) Writing down your expectations keeps you from changing them every time you see a new pin on Pinterest or talk to another homeschool mom.

Know that you can’t always be chasing the next best thing or be constantly distracted by something new. Having ever-changing expectations will only cause you frustration.

• Secondly, find someone to help you stay accountable. Talk to your spouse or a homeschool friend and give them permission to keep you grounded and realistic in your expectations.

Take a break from social media if it becomes too overwhelming. And remember that people usually only show their best selves or prettiest pictures on social media.

Learn to accept yourself and your kids, embracing both the strengths and weaknesses. Have patience both with yourself and with your kids, because homeschooling is a learning experience for both of you and mistakes will inevitably be made.

Try to accept “good enough.” It’s important to remember that perfection is not often possible. I’d love to believe it is, but reality has proved me wrong every time. It’s ok to accept a job that is done well enough or a day that is only somewhat successful.

• And most importantly, approach your expectations from a place of humor. Some days will not go as planned. Sometimes you will feel like life is falling apart. Well, you just might have to laugh, because there might not be much else you can do.

So, take a deep breath and lower some of your expectations – or get rid of them altogether. Your homeschool will look like no one else’s homeschool. Each day will be a new adventure (or possibly more of a nightmare). Accept that your homeschool is uniquely yours – flaws and all.

Step out of your own way and don’t be so hard on yourself! You will never achieve homeschool perfection, but you can embrace the journey with a sense of humor and a giant dose of reality – and a secret stash of chocolate! 

 

Lexi just might be a bit of a perfectionist, yet she’s learning to accept and embrace the beautiful mess of her homeschool. She homeschools her 6 children with the help of her university professor husband. Lexi approaches homeschooling with a bit of humor and a huge dose of authentic reality on her blog at Lextin Eclectic where she shares planning tips, curriculum reviews, and homeschool encouragement.