What is Deschooling and How Does it Work?

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If you’ve started looking into homeschooling, you’ve probably come across the term “deschooling.” It’s a particularly popular suggestion when you talk amongst a group of homeschoolers about how to get started. “Be sure to take some time to deschool,” they might way. But what does that actually mean and how does deschooling work?  

Just starting homeschooling? Consider taking some time to deschool! Deschooling helps set your homeschool up for success.

What is Deschooling?

Deschooling is a time of intentional effort on the part of parents to dump the “school” perspective from their daily life. It means shedding the public school constraints, expectations, and routines that has become such an integrated part of our culture.

Keep in mind that deschooling isn’t the same as unschooling. Deschooling is a temporary transition period or a time of purging the public school out of our heads. Unschooling is a homeschool philosophy that doesn’t provide any instruction or guidance at all and is a longer-term approach that some families take. Deschooling, however, is for the short term, and after you’re done with it you can move into whatever homeschool methods and styles you choose.

Who Needs to Deschool?

Most likely, everyone needs to deschool at some point. Here’s a list of some folks who can benefit from it:

  • Kids who have recently been pulled out of school
  • The parents who withdrew them
  • Parents who themselves attended public/private school
  • Parents who were taught using materials that were designed for private school (which is what early homeschool materials were)
  • Parents who worry or who are often told by those close to them that homeschooling is a mistake
  • Parents who feel tempted to replicate public school at home
  • Parents who are unsure what to teach and assume the government is the logical source of that information

In those early years of homeschooling journey, that list covers pretty much everyone. And, let’s admit it, homeschool moms… some of us may start to realize that even after years of homeschooling, we have drifted into a “school culture” mindset that isn’t working that well for our families right now. That’s ok. We can benefit from some deschooling at times, too!

Why is Deschooling Important?

Deschooling helps you evaluate your assumptions through the experience of living life with your children unhindered by the constraints of institutionalized schooling. It helps you more confidently answer this most important question: “What is the best education for my child and who is best suited to teach them?”

The process of deschooling can be a huge benefit to your family: 

  • Helps you practice leaning on the Lord and turning to Him in prayer for all things. This is a great time to establish a habit of homeschool prayer!
  • Allows time to establish family rhythms and routines.
  • Helps you focus on foundational discipleship, relationship, character issues first.
  • Starts you out with exploration of the interests, personality traits, and strengths of your children.
  • Helps you settle into methods and styles that are actually a good fit for you, rather than what someone else is doing.
  • Saves you time and money by keeping you from bouncing from curriculum to curriculum as often.
  • Helps avoid running to right to public school schedules, systems, styles, etc. when you hit road bumps along the homeschooling way.
  • You’ll practice stepping outside your comfort zone to find creative solutions.
  • Provides for a more peaceful transition to homeschooling.
  • Takes some of the stress and pressure down a few notches so you can actually ENJOY the time you have with your children!

Maybe you’re convinced now that this is worth a shot but aren’t sure how to actually DO this deschooling thing. Let’s dig into that next.

Just starting homeschooling? Consider taking some time to deschool! Deschooling helps set your homeschool up for success.

So, How do I Deschool?

First, make sure you know what your state homeschool laws are. If you have a high regulation state, you’ll need to work out how you are going to deschool in that context. You may consider reaching out to unschoolers in your area and asking how they handle things like attendance and subject requirements, and see if you can follow suit during your temporary deschooling time.

Once you think you’re ready to start deschooling, here are some things to keep in mind.

What to do to start deschooling: 

  • Block out time on your calendar for deschooling and choose a time when school would normally be happening.
  • Decide on a basic routine (not a time-bound schedule, but a general routine) for your days.
  • If desired, make a list of fun trips, trails to hike, life skills to explore, books to read aloud, etc. Like a bucket list.
  • Make regular dates with each kid for 1:1 time. This can be an activity out of the house or something at home that’s fun.
  • Observe your children and watch for what they enjoy, their strengths and interests, how they learn, etc.
  • When you get antsy, submit your fears and worries to the Lord. It also helps to look up more articles on deschooling and remember why you’re doing this.

What NOT to do:

  • If possible, don’t deschool over the summer or other typical school breaks. The goal is to break out of the school mindset. Not doing school during vacation is what everyone does, so trying that will simply not bring about the intended results here.
  • Don’t overplan deschooling time. Having a basic routine and some fun things to do together is great. Resist the temptation to test out homeschool schedules, sneak in formal lessons, etc. Again, don’t sabotage your efforts.
  • Don’t forget that YOU are deschooling too. Hold off on researching curriculum, methods, etc. Have a notepad to jot down those questions/ideas and then set it aside until your deschooling is over.

How long you want to deschool will depend entirely on your needs and situation. I have heard some say that 1 month for every year in the public school system. I think two to four weeks is good for those who aren’t coming out of public school but just need to reset.

Ultimately, you know yourself and your family best so I would choose what seems like a reasonable amount of time and try it. Once you see your kids relax into a good routine and you’ve moved past the constant internal pressure to “do school,” that’s a good sign.

What to After Deschooling

Ideally, now the “school” will be out of your brain and your family will be in a good routine, enjoying time together. Now’s the time to revisit your priorities and goals for homeschooling, prayerfully asking the Lord to guide you.

Look at the various methods and curriculum options out there and see which ones will be good tools for the coming year to meet your goals and priorities. Remember: you are the boss and your curriculum and methods are just tools.

Will Deschooling Solve All My Problems?

No, deschooling is not a silver bullet. You will have challenges as you find out what really works best for you and your kids, and that’s ok! That’s part of the journey, too.

You’ll still sometimes find yourselves stressing out about what the public schools are doing or what your friends are doing. Keep praying, showing yourself and your children heaps of grace, and reminding yourself that homeschooling is a lifestyle, not a curriculum.

You’ve got this, mama. Have a great homeschool year!

~ Tauna


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This Post Has 16 Comments

  1. My kids have only ever been homeschooled, so I haven’t done any deschooling with them, but I’ve had to do a lot of deschooling in my mind over the last two years. I went to school and thrived “in the box” and then was a teacher for a few years in the same system.

  2. Thanks for the info, I think many parents are going to need more information on deschooling coming from a public school into homeschool.

  3. Good post. I have to try to remember that I don’t have to teach like my kids are in public school.

  4. I agree that it’s important to break the routine, expectations and constructs from “brick and mortar” schooling. That includes parents too. We have been made to believe that kids will only learn in “x” situation following a certain pattern. It’s freeing to Deschanel and begin fresh.

  5. We never did deschooling but in hindsight, we should have!

  6. I think I de-schooled while schooling because I had no idea what I was doing; unfortunately it took years this way LOL. I wish I had known about this concept sooner.

  7. Thank you for this tidbit that showed up on my facebook feed. Planning out my year (a little late in the process but it has been a crazy summer) and now reevaluating what our calendar is going to look like. Might be starting our year off deschooling as it might help us work into the new year.

  8. I’ve always homeschooled up until one year ago when my kids went to public school one year then came back to homeschool. Deschooling was essential to get them back to how we do things at home. Now that we have relaxed, my kids are more willing to work toward a slightly more structured schedule.

    I have also been looking at Skilltrek for awhile. It is something on my would-like-to-have list, but I always put paying for traditional curricula first. It would be awesome to have a chance to dig into Skilltrek and see how it affects my kids and their behavior and confidence.

  9. My kids have only known homeschooling but I have to deschool myself!

  10. I had to throw out the box of my own experience and make our own way!

  11. My kids have always been homeschooled! But I do see how deschooling is important.

  12. Thanks for explaining about deschooling.
    I’m just starting out homeschooling. And deschoooling sounds like what I need.

  13. This is a great guideline to deschooling. I’ve always homeschooled and my homeschool experience pre-dates the internet (my oldest is 28) so by the time I heard about the concept I’d been on the homeschooling road for a long time. I’m not sure if deschooling would have helped me or not. I’ve always been pretty relaxed so I guess that all of the Dr. Moore books I read before I started worked.

  14. My daughter has only been homeschooled but I’m a product of the public school system as is my husband. We’ve been deschooling through the years and are getting better at it now that she is in high school.

  15. Is the Skill Trek coupon still available?

    1. A winner has been contacted for this!

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