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What is a Godly Marriage?
- Christ-centered
- High priority
- Selfless
- Fun and fully satisfying
- Peaceful (handles conflict well)
- Cultivated
And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. ~ Ecclesiastes 4:12
I know that’s a hard pill to swallow and it certainly isn’t the prevailing message of the world. However, the greater we understand and embrace this reality, the more all the other aspects of marriage and intimate living fall into place.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Ephesians 5:22, 25
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~ Philippians 2:3-4
Of course, there is nothing “cake” about being selfless, humble, and putting the needs of another wholly above your own. It’s downright hard – even impossible! Too often, we fall into one of two traps: 1) trying to control our spouse and our marriage, or 2) adopting a doormat mentality.
A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. ~ Proverbs 15:13
Let your own fountain be blessed, and enjoy the girl you married when you were young, a loving doe and a graceful deer. Always let her breasts satisfy you. Always be intoxicated with her love. ~ Proverbs 5:18-19
A godly marriage is one where laughter, companionship, friendship, and physical intimacy are prized. Marriage is supposed to be fun! There are several ways I could go with this topic, but I am going to focus on a particular danger we wives need to be aware of: comparisons.
When we entertain thoughts of discontent over our husband’s habits, traits, leadership, appearance, finances, struggles, or whatever, we are setting them and our marriage up for a fall.
When we become focused on our physical appearance to an unhealthy degree, and compare ourselves to other women, our confidence takes a dive. It can easily turn into a pride issue instead of a genuine desire to please our husbands.
Invite God to reveal to you the special way He created both you and your spouse. Ask Him to strengthen you in unity, affection, and intimacy. Ask Him to breathe new life into your friendship with your husband, and show you how to cultivate that relationship.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:31-32
- focus on common goals
- look for mutually beneficial solutions
- do a pride and selfishness check on yourself
- think on how to love and respect your spouse in the words you choose
- take a short break to think before speaking
- do not allow yourselves to stay angry
- Wise Counselors. Both you and your husband need friends and mentors who have godly marriages. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth finding trusted advisors in this area.
- Prayer. Pray for your marriage and all the things we’ve talked about here. Pray for your husband daily. These prayers are precious and will bear much fruit, especially when you are facing obstacles in your pursuit of a godly marriage.
- Time Together. Be intentional in your time together. Is there a hobby or pastime you could do together? Take up an interest of his or find a new one together. Spend time in prayer together every night. Read a book together. Go for walks in the evening. Have regular date nights and once-a-year getaways!
Resources and Links
- As Unto the Lord: A Tool for Wives Who Want to Glorify God by Doorposts
- My Beloved and My Friend by Hal and Melanie Young
- Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
- Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
- The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- His Needs Her Needs by Willard F. Jr. Harley
More Posts on Establishing a Christ-Centered Home
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This Post Has 3 Comments
3gigglygirlsathome
7 Apr 2014You have taken time to write a thoughtful post that centers around the important things in a marriage. I appreciate the list of what a Godly marriage is.
Annette
8 Apr 2014Good thoughtful posts, I like your main parts. 🙂 The whole peaceful aspect sometimes needs working on in this household…..
Including Link to my blog as there is no option of linking to it otherwise. 🙂
Annette @ A Net in Time (http://anetintimeschooling.weebly.com/a-net-in-time-blog.html)
Kristi
9 Apr 2014You listed some of my FAVORITE resources, Love and Respect, The 5 Love Languages, and My Beloved and My Friend! Thank you!! <3