I am a mom all day every day, and for the most part, I love it. I’m just saying… there are moments. Sometimes I’m a weary mom.
I have 6 children who are 10 and under and my days are spent wiping noses, kissing boo-boos, tending to character, and teaching math. My choice to leave my tech career to pursue a career in motherhood was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I can think of nothing more important or satisfying for me to do in this season of life.
But, let’s be honest. Motherhood can be rough sometimes, can’t it?
On the one hand, there are days when we cook from scratch, beam with pride at perfectly good manners, and sing Bible songs at the table as the sun goes down. (I might be exaggerating.) On the other hand are days where they ate popcorn for dinner, seem to fight all day, and completely forget everything you’ve ever taught them… and then the toddler draws a line throughout the house with Sharpie. (All true.) Not to mention the times when the challenges of extra difficult seasons in life (birth, death, move, job loss, etc.) drain all that was left in us.
It’s exhausting! Sometimes it seems like the well is just dry. We begin to feel that bone-deep desperation that nothing but Jesus can satisfy. It’s those days when we become weary and and at the end of our rope.
Are you feeling like a weary mom? Well, friend, you’re not alone. Here are 7 things you need to hear today.
Remember Your Sisters
I’ll say it again: You are not alone! Your sisters in Christ include so many moms who have been there and are ready to encourage you or who are feeling what you’re feeling right now, weary mom. You can be sure that you’re not alone in your struggles, no matter how unique or isolating they may feel. It does our hearts and minds well to pause and remember that.
Push yourself out of the alone feeling. Reach out to other moms in your church or circle of friends and ask for prayer. Find some trusted friends you can confide in and ask advice of. Or feel free to comment here or email me and I will pray for you, dear sister!
Write a Psalm or Two
When I reach that weary point in my own parenting, my prayers often sound like the Psalms. I’m like David, crying out to God with raw and honest lamentations about what I think and feel, my struggles and worries, my infirmities and inadequacies, and all the situations that seem immovable.
Then I remember Who I’m talking to, and slow down to say, “But God…”
Cry out to the Lord in your weariness as a great laying-down and spreading-out of your heart before Him in prayer. We are best able to receive instruction and strengthening from the Lord when we bow before the Him with a humble heart.
Lord, I just can’t right now. I’m so worn and unsure of things… I am a weary mom. It feels like I just do the same things day in and day out with no real progress. It feels like my kids aren’t ‘getting it’ in spite of my best efforts. And let’s face it, my best efforts are more like passable attempts, most days. I’m not cut out for this. I’m a bad mom.
But, God… You are the Almighty, the King of the universe, and You hold all of reality and time in Your hand. Yet you love me deeply, so deeply that You sent Jesus to die for me. You care intimately about the details of my life, especially my parenting and how I disciple these children you have given into my care. Please fill me with Your Spirit and refresh my soul. Help me to see You working in my life and in the lives of my children. Teach me to encourage my own heart and theirs to seek You above all things. I want to do this well — use me for Your glory.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Refresh Your Toolbox
I am always pulled from my weariness by excellent Christ-centered encouragement and effective godly parenting tools. Pull out your past trusted books and resources or dig into some thing new and refresh your vision for parenting as well as your practical parenting toolbox!
One of my favorite things to do is learn from audio and video sessions with amazing Christian speakers and authors. I pop an earbud in and listen to them while I do laundry, run errands, or catch up on dishes.
Fill Your Cup (Not about coffee. Although coffee helps.)
We busy moms must realize that often our weariness is caused by or at the very least exacerbated by our lack of good self-care. If our cup is empty, we can’t pour into anyone else and run the risk of becoming a weary mom. It’s so foolish (I’m speaking from experience here) for us to run ourselves ragged and neglect ourselves physically and spiritually and then be surprised when we crash.
If you are in a place of weariness there are likely some good reasons for that, and some may be out of your control. But take a moment now to think about the things that ARE in your control and how you can help fill your cup. Going to bed earlier, spending time in the Word, getting rest and relaxation, talking to a friend, getting fresh air, eating less junk, drinking more water. These things matter and will make a difference!
“Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31
Bookend Your Days
One of my favorite ways to cultivate a habit of prayer and dwelling on the Lord is what I call bookending my days. It basically means starting and ending your day with prayer/God’s Word. This simple activity always sets my perspective right and keeps me thinking on His Word. I am more likely to be praying throughout the day. Isn’t that just what we need in our weary state?
Bookending your days doesn’t need to be complicated. You could start the day with a chapter in Proverbs and end the day with a chapter in Psalms, reading through it and then pausing to pray based on what you read. It takes all of 10 minutes.
Lately I’ve been using prayer cards and scripture passages in a similar way. I gather some by whatever topic I’m wanting to pray through or that’s troubling me at the moment. In the morning I read and pray through a few and in the evening I go through a few more. I even incorporate written prayers, hymns, and meaningful Christian quotes into those prayer times.
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Be Realistic, Woman!
Often our weariness comes from the disappointment of not living up to unrealistic expectations. We have this ideal in our minds of what our family, home, homeschool, marriage, etc. should be like. Perhaps there’s another family or a friend we’re comparing ourselves to deep down, or we spend so much time looking at Pinterest or reading idealistic blog posts that we forget that everyone is a hot mess on some level.
Do a reality check on what you’re attempting to live up to. Is your to-do list and your sense of success secretly directed by a comparison trap situation? Do you put unreasonable expectations on yourself for the season of life you are in? Is there someone whose approval you’re quietly striving for and it’s becoming a stumbling block?
Remember that the only approval that really matters is the Lord’s. The only comparison we should be doing is to Jesus Christ, against whom we fail miserably, but thanks be to God He gives us the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts to change us ever more into the likeness of Christ.
Which means we are imperfect and should adjust our expectations accordingly. 😉
“He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” Isaiah 40:11
Know the Battle
We all have ups and downs on our journey in motherhood. Parenting is challenging in so many ways! We should expect to have times where we grow tired and need to intentionally encourage and refresh ourselves.
It’s also important that we keep an eternal perspective, here. We are raising up the next generation in the ways of the Lord! This is no small thing and is sure to come up against great opposition. Our common daily lives and relationships, the simple practices of parenting, our efforts to instruct our children and teach them about Christ… these are kingdom matters! They are the fabric of a life lived for the Lord and a legacy of children who know and love Him.
God uses families to advance His kingdom and enable us to grow deeper in relationship with Him. Nothing could be more offensive to the enemy of our souls. Be on guard, friends, and stand firm! Look to the Lord and He will be your strength when weariness comes and your shield against any attacks of the enemy, for the glory of His name.
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57