Type-B Homeschool Mom? Here are 4 things you can stop worrying about.

I can vividly remember the exchange that took place on that sunny September day at McDonalds. I had 4 cranky kiddos in tow and was very, very pregnant. I kept the children entertained for a while as we waited for lunch. Finally the food came. We set the trays on the table and I started sorting things out while managing the crazy toddler with a head cold who kept trying to jump out of my arms “like Suberman, Mom!” 

And that’s when I saw it. An elderly couple was staring at us from a few tables away. I smiled and went back to running my own personal circus. Once we were settled, I heard the wife call over in a friendly voice. 

“Looks like you have your hands full!” she said. 

Feel like a "type-B" homeschool mom? Unorganized and just a hot mess? Here are 4 things you DON'T need to worry about, plus some encouragement and a printable you won't want to miss.

I chuckled and said “I sure do! But we have a lot of fun.” 

The toddler dropped his water and wailed. As I picked it up, she eyed the older kids and said “Are the schools closed today?” As if they got a memo warning them of this golden opportunity, the oldest two shouted “We homeschool!” 

Her eyebrows shot up, and with a slight smile, she replied “Homeschool! You are brave! You must be really organized to pull that off.”  

At that moment I looked down and realized I had two different shoes on (same shoe, different colors). Lovely. I must not have noticed in my rush to get out the door, escaping our meltdown-inducing morning by ending the homeschool day early and announcing a surprise trip to the golden arches. 

Suddenly my 5 year old loudly announced that he had to go to the bathroom “It’s #2, Mom! But I’m going to eat my fries first.” He happily munched his fries and I looked up with a slightly red face and a grimace. But the man and his wife just laughed in a good-natured way. I relaxed and decided… this was ok. Yes, it was managed chaos, and I certainly wasn’t going to win homeschool mom of the year, but this was ok. In fact, it was great. 

With a lighter heart and coffee-induced boldness, I took a breath and turned slightly to face them. “No, I’m not really brave and I’m definitely not organized. In fact, I’m a hot mess a lot of the time. But it’s worth it. I’m not ever going to be a perfect mom, but I’ll just keep doing what I can and trust God with the rest. You know?” It was a little bit risky. I waited as the words hung there for a few moments. 

She beamed and said “Well, yes! I believe that too.” They finished their meal and said their goodbyes, obviously delighting in each of the kids’ ketchup-y faces and all the random facts they shared with them.  

—–

Fast forward to today. Here I am happily homeschooling with 6 kids and 8 years of homeschooling under my belt thus far. Sure, I have made strides since then in routines and systems that work for our family. I’ve learned a lot in my parenting and homeschooling. But truth be told, I’m still a hot mess a lot of times. This McDonald’s scene could have easily been yesterday. 

And you know what? That’s ok. I am what I like to call a Type-B homeschooler who doesn’t have it all together. I’m a domestically challenged homemaker whose house is rarely spotless. I’m a less-than-perfect wife and mom who falls short all the time. 

But, GOD… He equips me with all I need to educate my kids well. He’s faithful to lead me as I disciple my children. He’s working on me from the inside out and won’t stop until His work is finished.

Do you need that encouragement today, too?

We homeschool moms worry far too much, and that worry can get in the way of our success. Part of that is because our work is so important and our children are so precious. But some of it is because we’re stressing out about things that aren’t so important after all.  

Feel like a "type-B" homeschool mom? Unorganized and just a hot mess? Here are 4 things you DON'T need to worry about, plus some encouragement and a printable you won't want to miss.

4 Things Homeschool Moms Can Stop Worrying About

I’m here to give you a head start on that learning curve! Here are 4 things you do NOT have to worry about as a homeschool mom:   

1) You’re not enough.

Well, of course you’re not enough! But that’s not even necessary anyway, so you can stop worrying about it. There’s not one homeschool mom out there who is confident that she has all the patience, time, energy, focus, faith, self-discipline, organization, skill, money, support, etc. to homeschool successfully.

Yet here we are, masses of incredibly diverse moms, educating our children well and raising them for the Lord. You don’t have to be enough. God has that covered. 

[Read: Balance for the Busy Homeschool Mom]

2) We’ll mess them up.

First, we need to keep the right perspective here. Our goal isn’t to crank out perfect children, because a) that’s unrealistic, and b) that’s the wrong focus. Our job is to be faithful to teach and train our children as best we can and point them to Jesus. We trust the results to God.

But let’s talk about what exactly we think will “mess up” our kids when it comes to homeschooling:

  • They won’t be socialized – If by “socialized” you mean they won’t be held captive to the influences and pressures of hoards of children their own age for hours on end every day, then that’s true. But homeschool kids are typically better socialized for the real world, engaging with a variety of situations and ages. Any shortcoming you are worried about here can be overcome with some planning and creativity in your homeschool. It’s really a non-issue.   
  • They will have an inferior education – Nobody would say that a child who had a full time private tutor and was able to learn at their own pace while also pursuing their talents and interests had an inferior education to public schooling. But that’s what homeschooling is. Add to that the statistically higher performance of independent homeschoolers and the increasingly excellent reputation they have among college admissions… yah, you can stop worrying about that, too.   
  • They won’t have the same opportunities – I cannot think of one opportunity that homeschool kids don’t have. Sports, scholarships, group interaction, classes with other teachers, field trips, competitions, prom, graduation ceremonies, and so on. Most all homeschool parents can either find these opportunities to participate in if they so wish, or collaborate with other parents to provide them to the homeschool community where they live.   
  • They’ll be weird – Well, they might be. But that’s not a product of homeschooling. 😆 It reminds me of a quote by Heidi St. John that always makes me laugh: Your kids will be as weird as you are! That’s true for public schoolers and homeschoolers alike. 

[Read: What Christian Moms Really Want]

3) You won’t do it right.

There is no one “right” way to homeschool. We can stop worrying about finding that perfect curriculum, homeschool method, schedule, group, etc. It doesn’t exist, friend.

Sure, there are things that will be a better fit for our kids and make our homeschool lives easier and more enjoyable. Those are worth evaluating. But there is no silver bullet in the homeschooling world, so you can stop the endless second guessing and panicked late night curriculum research sessions. (I mean, you can still do that for fun LOL!)

And another thing… don’t believe the folks who say (or imply) that their way is the only right way. It’s not. Just smile and nod, and move on with your homeschool awesomeness.  

4) You can’t homeschool successfully.

Friend, you CAN homeschool successfully! No matter what circumstances, personality, flaws, or limitations you have, intentional parents who put their trust in the Lord can homeschool with great success.

I’m not saying everyone MUST homeschool but I think nearly everyone CAN homeschool. It’s not easy, but it can bring great joy and satisfaction. It takes sacrifice and persistence. But it does NOT take perfection.

And if you are in a situation where you want to homeschool but aren’t seeing a way, do not despair. Submit your desires to the Lord in prayer and He will guide you in what’s right for your family. 

[Read: Why Homeschool Moms are Giving Up (and how you escape the pitfall)]

Here’s the bottom line, friends: 

Homeschool success depends on what the Lord can do through intentional parents who are following His leading and trusting Him with the results. God will give us all we need to educate and disciple our children well.  

Let’s Encourage One Another

We need to be encouraging each other and reminding each other of these truths! 

I think sometimes we (the homeschool community in general) can look down on a fellow mom who is more “Type-B.” By that I mean someone who is less organized and detailed in her homeschooling, struggles with home management, or has yet to find her homeschool groove. 

And you know what? There are times when homeschoolers can start looking down on someone who IS more organized and detailed (the Type A among us) as if her schedules and systems are some kind of sign of a lack of enlightenment about the more relaxed nature that homeschooling and parenting can be like. 

Let’s go ahead and stop doing that, shall we, homeschool moms? I think there’s a better way to see ourselves and others. When we are faithful moms who are seeking the Lord, we can recognize and appreciate our differences! 

Yes, nowadays I fully embrace my “Type-B,” domestically challenged, less-than-perfect self. And I want fellow homeschool moms to have that freedom, too! 

God can use our strengths AND our weaknesses to help us effectively parent and homeschool our children. It’s less about “having it all together” than being intentional moms leaning on the Lord. He will give us all we need to complete the work He has called us to. 

To God be all the glory!

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Psalm 105:4

Download Your Homeschool Mom Encouragement!

Recently I shared this graphic that I made in our Homeschool Successfully FB group. The wonderful ladies there liked it so much that I promised to make a printable, so here it is! I pray you are encouraged and blessed by this post, dear homeschooling moms. You are doing important work! 

Type-B Homeschool Mom Printable

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This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Thank You so much for all your time and effort you’ve put into all that you’ve provided online!

    1. Thank you for the encouragement! 🙂

  2. Thank you so much for your transparency and encouragement. We need more women who will be honest about the real mom (homeschool or not) life. May God continue to bless you with wisdom to share. I really needed all of this!

    1. I’m so glad it blessed you, Melanie! Thank you for those words of encouragement. 🙂

  3. My husband and I both have perfectionist tendencies which seem to be genetic. We have 8 children, 5 of whom are biological. The bio children all seem to have inherited some of these tendencies as well (some more than others!), but the 3 adopted children do not seem to exhibit these tendencies. I have been working for many years to cut myself some slack in this area, and now my challenge is that those perfectionist children struggle to cut me any of that slack, and some of them struggle to give grace to our non-perfectionist children. All of our adopted children have academic challenges of varying degrees, and one of them also exhibits some significant behavioral challenges. As I look back over the past years, it seems that God is definitely using our adopted children to teach the rest of us that it is indeed OK to mess up and struggle as we work through our days. It is slightly terrifying to think of what we would have become without our adopted children becoming part of our family (a son was adopted from China in 2007, and 2 daughters were adopted through a foster placement which began in 2015 with the adoption being finalized just a few months ago). We weren’t able to begin homeschooling the 2 girls until after the adoption was finalized, but now we are all at home. Our oldest 2 children, now young adults, are finished with their homeschooling journey, and our third child is in her last year of homeschooling.

    Having been forced to walk down the public school road with the sisters that were initially a foster placement has given me a new perspective about homeschooling. Homeschooling is a walk in the park compared to dealing with the challenges of public schools and resource rooms and ridiculous assignments and timing how much you read every night and on and on (and I was a teacher full time before we had children!). My hat is off to anyone who can successfully walk down the path of public schooling with their children. The battles they face every day just don’t come close to the little behavior challenges most of us deal with in our homeschools. In homeschooling, I can deal with behaviors, both good and bad, as they occur. With children leaving the house for 8 hours a day, it is difficult to reward or retrain any behaviors because they have to be dealt with based on the school schedule rather than when the behavior occurs. Add to that the peer pressure for clothes, music, devices, phones, TV shows, movies that are trending, etc, etc; the conflicts are seemingly endless!

    So even on what seems to be your worst ever homeschooling day, know that you are doing an important job training your children to seek Jesus! And embrace the opportunities that you have to invest all of that time every day into your children. What seems like a really bad homeschooling day, is still used by God to work in us and in our children! Rejoice in the struggles and in the rewards!

    1. Homeschooling is definitely a blessing – it is important work indeed! And isn’t it amazing how much WE learn through the process of homeschooling? Your comment reminded me of that. In the same way that we are discipling our children as we walk WITH as we follow Jesus, we teach our children and learn so much at the same time. ❤️

  4. Thank you so much for this word of encouragement! My “Type A” personality doesn’t like being a “Type B” homeschool mom, but I am trying to learn to relax with it!

    1. You’re so welcome! 🙂 You’re definitely not alone in that either. I have several friends and readers who have said something similar! We’re all learning and growing, for sure!

  5. Love this. I can relate ALL too well! What a great verse!

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